There was a time, not so long ago, when I couldn’t sit still. I don’t mean in the hyperactive, childlike sense. I mean in the “if I’m not accomplishing things in those moments, I’m a failure” sense. The second I found five minutes to spare, I’d scroll. Refresh. Click. Check the refrigerator. Gather a to-do list. Check the clock. Fill the quiet. Anything but sit in it.
Boredom was a threat in the past. A territory to overcome, fix, and fill up in a hurry. But the thing was, it wasn’t the boredom. It was how I’d gotten uncomfortable being.
The Guilt of Doing Nothing
We’re conditioned—loudly and insidiously—that busyness is good. Productive. Worth it. Even our downtime has to be productive: yoga for mobility, podcasts for education, and walks for steps. It’s never really about stillness.
When I attempted to do nothing, it made me fidgety. There was that persistent, crawling feeling that I should be accomplishing something that was more productive. It was as though I were tied to a timer. My own hobbies became projects.
The Myth of Constant Stimulation
We are surrounded by noise. Not only the literal noise but also the mental noise. Notifications. Opinions. News. More news. Nonstop highlights of other people’s lives. It’s no wonder that a habit has cropped up to fill in the gaps between screens.
I didn’t even realize how often I was doing it until I tried to stop. It was as though my thumb possessed muscle memory. Phone. Pickup. Tap. Scrolling. Not through desire but habit. It felt momentarily connected. But after that? A bit… flat.
Finding Comfort in the Pause
When I sat in the garden without a phone for the first time, I wasn’t really sure what to do. Which, when you think about it, is crazy. I used to be the kind of kid who would watch ants for hours or lie on the lawn to count clouds. But along the way, I’d somehow stopped letting my mind do the same.
Now I make an effort to leave room. Not always, not ideally, but increasingly. I no longer pull out my phone in lines or grab a podcast as soon as I fold the laundry. I sometimes sit.
Boredom Fuels Creativity (Even When You’re Not Being Creative)
Something interesting happened after I stopped filling in the spaces. I began to think differently. Not in an “I’m going to write a novel” kind of way, but in a reconnect to the quiet part of you kind of way.
My ideas flow to the surface more these days. I write more. Not always well, but more freely than ever. I see small details. The curl of steam rising off a mug. Bin truck rumble. That amusing curl of hair that my daughter can never seem to manage to comb down.
What I Do Instead (And It’s Not Fancy)
This isn’t about tossing your phone or burning incense. It’s about paying attention to what calms you.
Journaling has made a quiet comeback in my life. It’s not profound or deep; it’s scribbles, questions that get tangled. There are nights when I pick up a jigsaw and leave the thinking in the doorway. On other nights, I picked up a pen instead of reaching for social media and instead played a quiet game of solitaire or worked on a jigsaw puzzle.
Sometimes I sit with a cup of tea and just stare out the window, letting the quiet stretch longer than feels natural. Other times, I let my hands move—tidying a drawer, folding laundry slowly, not to finish a task but to feel grounded in something simple. None of it is remarkable, and that’s kind of the point. It’s not about escaping boredom. It’s about letting it shift into something softer.
Boredom: The Unlikely Learning Experience for Children
Observing my children was a big help. They whine when they’re bored for about a decade, then something occurs. They create. Construct. Rearrange. They devise a complete soap opera series for the Lego men. They do not do it for a crowd or for likes. They do it because there’s room.
And the more space I grant to their imaginations, the stronger and more creative they appear. It turns out boredom isn’t the biggest foe of childhood. It’s a part of what makes it magical.
Why should that not also apply to adults as well?
The “Busy Badge” Is Exhausting
I used to wear the label of being busy like a badge. It made me feel important. You know, as though if I weren’t busy, I wasn’t doing enough. But the thing is, that type of perpetual going wears you out. You burn your energy in sprints and crashes.
Now I attempt to respect my capacity. If there’s a downtime, I seize it. If I get a task completed ahead of schedule, I don’t begin the next task for the sake of not being idle. I let quietness linger.
The Soundtrack of Silence
There’s a specific type of sound I’ve come to appreciate—the tinkle of a spoon against a cup, the whisper of a bee flying by the window, the tick of the clock in the hall. I used to mask these out. Now I tune in.
Those noises remind me that I am here. That this instant-this plain, not-fancy, in-between instant—is worthy of attention. It does not have to be filled out or documented. It exists.
When Your Mind Wanders, It Comes Back to You
It isn’t about resisting the need to scroll or about shaming yourself for having busy hands. It’s about stopping for a little while. Observe what occurs when you let your thinking unfurl and spread instead of constantly working on or perfecting it.
You may discover that you think more clearly. You may recall something lovely that happened five years ago. You may do nothing, and that would be perfectly all right.
The Discomfort That Teaches You Something
One of the biggest surprises about slowing down is that it isn’t always nice. It sometimes stirs up the things you’ve been pushing to the side—the nagging thoughts, the half-formed ideas, the emotions you’ve not even realized you’re having. And that doesn’t always feel good.
But I’ve found that enduring that awkwardness teaches you a whole lot more than scrolling through it ever does. It’s in the quietness of those awkward moments that you recall what genuinely needs your attention—and it isn’t your inbox or the laundry or that thing you’ve silently been carrying. And once you’ve given it a name, you’re able to loosen up about it. Maybe let it go.
Letting Ordinary Moments Be Enough
We’re so busy pursuing moments that are worthy of capture that we end up giving no attention to the ones that happen, not planned, and not posed. Just lived.
The quiet pre-dinner hour when everyone’s hungry but subdued. The sunlight in the middle of the morning streamed through the drapes. The familiar ritual of heating a pot on the hob. Those are the places I’d usually rush through. Now, I let them breathe on their own because they do. It happens that boredom isn’t vacant. It’s space. Space becomes something else when you release the need to fill it up: breathing room for your soul, your creativity, and your mind.
Not all moments have to be productive. Not all silences should have a soundtrack. Not all moments need to be documented in order to exist. At times, it’s possible to sit with it, let it traverse through you, and find there’s something remarkably lovely on the other side.
Disclosure: This is a featured post.