For English weddings, the bride and groom typically create a gift registry. However, in Chinese culture, we tend to be more practical—cash is preferred. This helps to offset wedding costs and, in some cases, contributes to obligations involving the mother-in-law.
Traditionally, the groom is expected to cover the entire cost of the wedding, including the banquet. This differs from English customs, where the bride’s parents usually pay for the wedding dinner. In Chinese weddings, the bride’s mother may request five or more tables for her guests. The monetary gifts (ang bao) collected from these tables typically go to the bride’s family, while gifts from the groom’s side are used to help cover the wedding expenses.
At my sister’s wedding, my mum stood by the gift box and collected the red packets from her relatives and friends.
So, if you attend a Chinese wedding—especially one held in a Chinese restaurant—as a friend or relative, it is customary to bring a generous red packet (ang bao) to help cover the cost of your seat.
What should you give the newlyweds?
From a relative or friend:
Money! Make sure the amount at least covers the cost of your dinner. To estimate how much to give, check the venue in advance. If it’s a buffet, you can give less; if it’s held at a luxury hotel, you should give more. Amounts are usually given in even numbers.
The number 8 is considered lucky in Chinese culture, so amounts like 28, 38, or 88 are well received. Avoid the number 4 (e.g. 40), as it sounds like “death” in Chinese and is considered inauspicious.
Also, remember to write your name on the back of the red packet. The couple will keep a record so they can reciprocate when you get married.
Avoid buying physical gifts unless the couple specifically requests them. If you prefer to give a present, gold jewellery is a good option—such as a necklace, earrings, or a bracelet.
From the groom’s family to the bride:
In Teochew traditions, the groom’s family presents four pieces of gold jewellery: a necklace, a pendant, a pair of earrings, and a bangle.
Mr V kindly shared this photo below with us. This is the type of jewellery they gave to his wife 30 years ago.
In Cantonese traditions, the bride typically receives a pair of dragon and phoenix gold bangles from her mother-in-law, symbolising a harmonious and blissful union.
From the bride’s family to the bride:
As the bride leaves her family home, her parents often give her gold jewellery instead of cash. The reasoning is practical—money is usually shared in a joint account, while gold jewellery remains her personal asset. It can serve as a form of financial security if needed.
So don’t feel offended if you’re asked to give money (ang bao) at a Chinese wedding—it’s part of the culture and tradition.
What did you receive at your wedding?
Beautiful photos. What a wonderful wedding. The food looks delicious and love the wedding gift.!
Liking the sound of the Million Eyez – will check it out further!
That’s a great idea for an app and a great way to share photos
This is so cool to learn about! Thanks for the great post and for being part of the campaign.
That is so interesting, and actually I think that’s a wonderful idea giving jewelry instead of money so she has something for herself
these posts are so interesting! it’s great to get an insight into other cultures
You have to pay your Mother In Law? I have to say when we got married we asked for B&Q vouchers so we could do up our house
So interesting reading these thank you – I have to admit I know very little other than from the posts I have read from you on Chinese traditions 🙂
Thank you for such an interesting insight. I truly love reading these posts as I like learning new things to tell my mum about x
These posts are great. A bit of learning about other cultures is brilliant. I prefer to give money as a gift as I think, in the day and age where couples live together before getting married, money means they can treat themselves to what they like or what they need. We asked for money at our wedding so we had spending money for our honeymoon.
This is so interesting… I LOVE your posts because you tell us all the things that we just wouldn’t know about. I think the traditions are all so symbolic and something we lack quite a lot of in our English culture these days!
I love learning things from your posts. We got gift cards for our Wedding, not money but nearly x
It’s interesting to know, so that if I go to a chinese wedding now I won’t give the wrong thing! To be honest we mainly give money at weddings anyway – unless its an english wedding and they have the gift list, we will buy something, otherwise in all the asian weddings we just give cash in a card!
I like the idea of giving and receiving money. Most couples have been together a while by the time they have got married these days so probably don’t need much for the home. Money is much more practical!
money seems like an extremely practical gift… yes, maybe it is not very sexy but still… you cannot go wrong with giving money
It’s really interesting Eileen. I dislike giving money as a gift. I’d much rather choose and give a gift. I won’t if I get invited to a Chinese wedding though!
this is very interesting i would have no idea as the chinese seem offended by quite a few average gifts we buy each other over here if we gave them what we would like to rceive x
What a great post, so interesting to hear about other cultures xx
What a tradition of giving money to the couple so they can pay the inlaws. I am not so sure that would go over well here in the US. LOL… I know our kids would keep it all for themselves.
Great post – this is really interesting! Thanks for sharing 🙂
I love reading about different traditions – what a fab read!
In Greek Orthodox weddings, gifts are also given in the form of money, pinned to the bride and groom as they do the money dance. My dad is Greek Orthodox and I so wanted that at our wedding 😀 But it wasn’t to be!
Love your posts about all those different things between countries 😉 In Poland we normally ask for money to cover all the expenses coming with big fat wedding 😉
omg thats interesting, but way to complicated) do you still have to do it?! you mentioned english traditions but i guess in some families things are different, we paid for our wedding ourselves and parents merely tried to contribute by giving us which covered a bit of our wedding, as well as i know other couples who pay themselves for the wedding and parents just give them money as thier contributions towards it