Two years ago, I wrote an article on Day 7 The Return of The Dead Night, and only briefly wrote about the dos and don’ts of the night. After watching the collaboration between the Hellbank YouTube channel with Affinity Funeral Service’s video, it prompted me to do some research through my relatives and friends in Singapore on what to prepare for the Return of the Soul night.
Just a word of warning, this does not apply to all Chinese people or religions, it is mostly what Chinese people believe in Singapore. It is mainly Chinese superstitions or customs that have been passed down the generations, you can choose to believe it or not.
First, let us learn how to calculate your loved one’s day 7 (or their 回魂夜 (Huí Hún Yè)/头七 (Tóu Qī). If you don’t know, you can always ask your Funeral Director (in Singapore) or older generation to help.
The start of Day 7 will happen on their sixth night of death after 11pm. We Chinese believe that from 11pm to 1 am is the Hour of the Rat, or the hour Zi Shi (子时). It is between the last hour of a day to the beginning of a new day. If you want to know what to do and don’t do and the history of Hades Deities, please refer back to my post – Day 7 The Return of The Dead Night. I will also do a short version below.
Before everyone retreats to their rooms to welcome their loved ones back, they should prepare a feast of their favourite foods to enjoy before going back to the Court of Hell for judgment. For example, bowls of rice, fish, meats and fruits.
According to Affinity Funeral Service, you can prepare boiled eggs for the Ghost Dispatchers/Hades Deities (Da Er Ye Bo) and put the boiled eggs in Guinness Stout. In the past, people would leave the boiled eggs inside a gourd with beer. This is because they love eating eggs and if you leave the eggs inside the gourd, it makes it harder for them to take it out to eat it. So they will stay slightly longer in your house before getting your loved one back to Hell.
They also mentioned do not offer durian. Durian is the fruit with thorns and you would not want your loved one to suffer in hell. Also, the shape of the durian looks like the Chinese weapon meteor hammer. Even if you take the durian off the durian husks, it still symbolises its shape of thorns.
Grapes are also not encouraged for the offering. Grapes come in a cluster/bunch. This symbolises more death that will come your way. It is best to offer apples and oranges which are more circular rather than irregular shapes.
Besides their favourite foods and fruits, you can also place a set of poker cards for the Hades Deities to play. This is to delay them from rushing your loved one back to hell.
My mum was told not to prepare duck or vegetables for my dad. For duck, in the Hokkien dialect, it means ah, and it sounds like pressing/killing. So under Chinese superstitious, it means there will be more family members dead in future (within 1 year). My dad was Hokkien and hence we are not allowed to prepare that. As for vegetables, in the Teochew dialect, means cai, and it sounds like wealth (in Chinese Mandarin – 财 cai). So if you are a Teochew descendant (like my mum), if you pray/place vegetables on the table, the dead one will take your wealth away hence causing you to lose your money. So these two items are considered bad luck for the living people.
Some people suggest to turn off the light and retreat to the living room and kitchen, whilst some people said to turn on the light. Personally, I would turn off the light, just in case, you see any dark shadows walking through past the gap of your door and you get too scared. Remember you do not open the door to check if there are any noises, especially the sounds of chains.
Once you prepare their favourite foods/fruits on the table, you must also remember to include some extra foods for the Hades Deities too. Some people would place three sets of utensils and some might just place one set for their loved one. I do remember hearing that if you don’t prepare utensils for the Hades Deities, they will punish you. So, I would rather err on the side of caution and place more utensils than less.
To check whether your loved one came back, they suggest you take a before and after photo of the feast at the same photo angle. Then you could check the before and after photos if they came to visit or not. Some people say you can see the utensils or food have moved by looking at the photos. Placing white powder on the floor for footprints is not recommended as it is a potential hazard.
This story was told by my friend which happened before the age of mobile phones or digital cameras. My friend said that her distant relatives saw a hand-shaped print on the jar of rice the next day morning. A long time ago, people often stored their rice in a jar at home. So when their loved one passed, they would love to see a full jar of rice and they would go to their underworld happier/peacefully, knowing that his/her family had plenty of food to eat at home. They needn’t worry about their living loved ones suffering without them. Some people would practise this by filling their rice jar full on the sixth night. Some households don’t store their rice in a jar though and take their uncooked rice straight from the rice bag. Hence not everyone practises this tradition.
Remember to not place religious ornaments or paper talismans on the main door. If you have a praying altar in your living room, you have to offer joss sticks to your house deities to inform them that your passed loved one is coming home tonight.
When dawn comes, some people would practise throwing scissors out of the room before coming out from their room to inform the dead the living are coming out.
Do you believe the dead will return to visit their loved ones? Let me know in the comments below and share if you also practise this. Do listen to Mr Zhou’s Ghost stories podcast 16th June 2023 25 minutes for more information.