You see signs that your husband is having an affair, you confront him about it, and the next thing you know, you are getting divorced. Then, you realize that you have to tell your children about it. Seems familiar?
Telling your children the bad news is a very challenging task. You have to do it right away before there is a chance that they could hear it from someone else. You will also need to prepare what you want to say and how you want to say it. It may not make it less emotionally draining, but you’ll gain some ideas on how to get your kids through it. Here, you will find some helpful tips on how to tell your children that you are getting a divorce.
Be Honest With Your Children
There are many different ways to go about telling the children that you are getting a divorce. Your kids may hear the news from other family members or friends, potentially making things worse. It would be best if you were honest with your children as soon as possible. You can tell them that you have decided to separate because of irreconcilable differences.
You should also explain to your children that this has nothing to do with them. This will help minimize the trauma for them. If your children are old enough, they may want to ask questions. Answer their questions to the best of your knowledge, but do not exaggerate. Do not lie to them. They will know it, and it will cause them more pain.
Prepare to Answer Questions
Your children will probably have lots of questions after hearing the news. They may also be confused about the whole idea of divorce, or they might get angry at you for breaking up your family.
It is essential to be truthful with them and speak in terms that are easy for them to comprehend. If you see that they are going through a lot of stress, stay calm and take your time answering their questions. Besides, you may also turn this into an opportunity to talk about the types of relationships you want for them when they grow older. They need to learn that you want them to have healthy relationships, and that is the same reason why their parents are getting divorced.
Don’t Badmouth the Other Parent in Front of Them
When you are upset with your spouse, it is understandable if you want to vent out your frustrations to someone. However, you need to think twice before saying anything negative about your spouse in front of your children. You should refrain from doing anything that will affect their relationship with the other parent and vice versa. As much as possible, do not badmouth them in front of your children. This will only make things worse.
It is also essential that you choose your words wisely. You do not have to talk about the situation negatively just because you are upset with your spouse. Do not get into a shouting match with them. Your children will be able to pick up on the tension, and it will most likely affect them.
Be Supportive and Understanding
Even if you are getting divorced, try to stay positive. You should still be there for your children and do whatever you can to make them feel better. It is normal for children to be sad, angry, upset, or disappointed after hearing the news. They may also feel confused and scared about the future.
Give them space to go through these emotions. It would be best to be empathetic and let them feel what they are feeling without any judgment or expectations from you. If they want to talk about it, listen to them and support them. If they don’t want to talk about it, let them be and not bring up the subject until they are ready.
Don’t Exclude Your Children From the Decision-Making Process
It is important that you involve your children in the process of making decisions regarding their future. You want them to understand that both parents love them and that this situation is not their fault. You want to avoid creating resentment in your children, so make sure they are included in the decision-making process. Ensure that you give them a say in what happens next. You want them to feel like they have an active role in making things better.
Telling your children about a divorce is not easy, as you have to deal with your kids’ emotions while still dealing with your own feelings. That is why it is essential to keep the lines of communication open after you tell your children about the divorce. You can only show them that you care by showing that you’re there for them.
It takes a great deal of courage to tell your kids that you are getting a divorce, but it is worth it if it helps them cope with this challenging situation. Listen to what they have to say and be supportive. You can also try exercising some patience and understanding especially. If you are worried about how they will take it, you can always consult with a child psychologist in order to get some help.
Disclosure: This is a featured post.