You might be wondering: what is a bridal door game? It is a series of games played when the groom arrives to pick up his bride on the wedding day. The bridesmaids give the groom and his group of “brothers” (best men/groomsmen) a list of tasks and challenges to complete before he is allowed to fetch his bride. Of course, they have to pass all the games first!
According to my uncle, this tradition was not commonly practised in his time among the Teochew or Hokkien communities. It was more commonly associated with Cantonese weddings, so unfortunately he did not have any photos to share with me this week.
Nowadays, bridal door games are common regardless of the bride and groom’s dialect group. I was my sister’s maid of honour, but I did not fly back to Singapore until a week before the wedding. By then, the bridesmaids had already prepared a list of games and bought all the necessary items.
Ups and Downs of Life
Before the bridesmaids were willing to open the first door, the groom and his brothers had to pass their first test. We prepared pre-cut citrus fruits such as lemons and limes, cubes of sugar, bitter herbal tea, and chilli. These represented the ups and downs of life — sour, sweet, bitter, and spicy (酸甜苦辣). We arranged the ingredients in a row and gave each of them a bowl containing all four flavours.
These are a few photos I’m sharing from my friend’s wedding:
Good Health and Fitness
After they finished the challenge, we made them do a workout! To marry my sister, the groom had to prove that he was in good shape and health. They each had to do sit-ups and push-ups. We did not set a fixed number, but we insisted they complete them properly.
Bribe Us
Next, they had to bribe us with “ang bao” before we would open the first gate. They had to offer amounts such as $388 or $888. During this time, we negotiated a “fair” amount since the money would be divided among the bridesmaids. It was definitely a fun opportunity for us to earn some extra money!
After the bridesmaids received the ang bao, we opened the gate to welcome them in. However, there was still another door to unlock before the groom could fetch his bride. The next task was for him to read the Marriage Agreement outside the bride’s room.
Marriage Agreement
My brother-in-law had to read out a list of promises that he would keep after the marriage, such as: “The wife is always right, and even when she is wrong, she is still always right!” He also promised to love her until death do them part, among many other sweet declarations.
Entertain Us
The groom then had to sing the bride’s favourite song to prove that he would always support and enjoy the things his wife loves. My brother-in-law had to sing a Hokkien song — not because my sister particularly liked it, but because it carried a meaningful message. It was hilarious and entertaining!
In some other bridal door games, the “brothers” are asked to dress up in skirts or underwear as backup dancers. Some games go to extremes, with participants putting on makeup or even wearing coconut husks over their chests. And of course, everything is filmed on video!
There are many more games that can be played, and it all depends on the creativity of the bridesmaids. However, according to the wedding schedule — and to avoid missing the auspicious timing — we eventually had to wrap up the games and let the groom through the bride’s door. He would then ask the bride’s parents for permission to marry their daughter.
This is my sister, mum, brother-in-law, and my son. They were leaving the bride’s house for the groom’s house to continue with the next ceremony.
I hope you enjoyed reading this Chinese Wedding series that I wrote: Tea ceremony, Hair combing, Small Uncle and many more.
Special thanks to my sister and brother-in-law, Milla & Michael, and Ken & Amly for sharing their wedding photos with us.
So how many best men can you have? That sounds much better than having to pick just one.
you can have as many as possible!
My brother had two. It could be awkward with a British church marriage if you had 8 best men!
This is great series. I’ve read it all. So many new information 🙂 Thank you
This sounds like a fun family tradition. Thanks for sharing x
I love the “Wife is always right” part – brilliant
What a great custom and a fun way to enter a marriage. Thanks for sharing x
Thank you for sharing these customs – so fascinating, and not something I’d know about otherwise. Looks like fun too!!
Very interestng – you all look so lovely in the photos. Love the brides dress.
Love this!!!
The entertain part is the best haha – I can’t see Rovi sing to me infront of a room full of people are wear his pants over his trousers! These men are great sports!
Thanks for sharing hun
Lotte xo
I love the sound of this, it must be so much fun to have all those men at the beck and call of the bridesmaids!
Such a fascinating series! What a fantastic idea of the groom having to prove their worth 🙂
Oh my goodness! Chinese weddings sound amazing! I love learning about traditions, I’m off to read more!
Great post, love hearing and learning more about Chinese traditions x
I love all these posts! It’s so interesting to learn of the different meanings etc!
Really interesting – love all the symbolism of it, with the food, money and everything else.
Wow this so interesting Eileen. Love the traditions great post x
I always enjoy reading your posts and getting an insight into the Chinese culture x
I’m surprised how similar it is to a russian wedding tradition!
I love these posts, so interesting as I would otherwise know nothing about Chinese culture! Thanks for the great insights x
I really enjoyed reading this its nice to learn about other traditions x
I am loving the tradition posts from you , they are so fascinating , once again fab post hun x
Such a great tradition. I really enjoy reading your posts.
There seems to be lots of tradition around the giving and receiving of money. I like the way the bridesmaids get to earn some back! Lovely photos, and your son loos so cute in his suit.
This sounds like a really fun tradition. Definitely more civilised than the traditional British stag do! Lovely photos you have shared too.
What a fun ritual! I do love reading about different traditions and read your posts with fascination. I love the purple bridesmaids dress – looks lovely on you! x